I want to walk
away. The spotlights of the gymnasium
are blinding my eyes and the cheers of the crowd shouting my name are breaking
my eardrums. My deep red gown that shows the whole of my back, arms and
cleavage already feels uncomfortable along with this heavy thing they call crown
that they just placed on my head. No, I
don’t want to walk away. I can see my teachers smiling at me as if I am the
most adorable person in the world and I could imagine my female classmates
green in envy because I just won the title they have all been dreaming of. I can see John, no I do not see him now, but
the mad crowd might have covered him from my sight. Maybe he did not really come. That would be impossible, of course he is here. He must be so proud of me. Tomorrow, he will tell me how beautiful I am
tonight and how much he loves me. I will
tell him I love him too and we will be a perfect couple.
“Come
forward Leizle,” the shout of that guy startled the thoughts battling in my
mind. I walk towards the pool of people
holding cameras with the same confident poise and the same fake smile I’ve been
wearing for the past hours. My pictures
will be feasted by many soon- these will be one of the photos in the school
paper and these will be posted in Facebook.
Then, a talent manager or producer or movie director or such sort of
person will see my pictures and will bring me to fame. Now, I am imagining
exaggerated events again. I need to focus to stay beautiful. The series of clicks and flashes seem to be
forever. I don’t like this. No, I like this. I really like this.
After
almost another dreadful, no, wrong… after almost another enchanting hour, I am
at the backstage, changing my gown to a t-shirt, a pair of jeans and slippers. I place my crown, scepter, sash and plaque of
recognition in a paper bag with utmost care.
Someday, I will be bragging all these to my future children. They will praise me and they will be proud of
having me as their mother.
I
start my walk towards my house. Daddy
will hug me for the first time and will be sorry for not driving me to the
contest venue because of his field works. Mommy will be happy when I’ll show
her my awards and she will regret that she exchanged gracing the pageant for
some client meeting that had been her usual excuse since I was in the first
grade. They will hang my plaque in our
lobby along with the awards I reaped throughout my life. Everyone will admire me. They will tell Daddy and Mommy how blessed
they are for having a daughter like me.
Dad and Mom will be proud. Then
we will have a dinner together after a long time.
One
more block and I am at my house. I pass
by the home of Martha. I hate her
because everyone likes her, including John, I think. Of course not, John likes me, no one but
me. The flowers he gave to Martha may
just be gestures of gratitude for some help she extended to her. They mean nothing more, I know. I pass by the small home of Karen. I see the one and only vehicle her family
owns- a cab. Their cab is dilapidated; I
would never wish to ride in such a vehicle again. I wonder how Karen survived riding that cab
every morning when her father drives her to school.
At
last, I am at the front of our house. I
stop to admire the splendor of the building and the exquisiteness of the
landscape of the front yard. Its beauty
is a thing to behold. This is a
palace. I am the princess.
I
press the doorbell and Ate Mayet, our
housemaid, come running towards me. She
smiles when she saw the crown in the paper bag I am holding.
“I
know you will win, my alaga always
win,” she says with a wide grin while freeing me from the things I have been
carrying.
“Where
is mommy?”
“She’s
not home yet, maybe later.”
“Daddy?”
“He’s
not here too. They will be home Leizle,
soon. What do you want for dinner?”
Of
course, what would I expect? I realize I
have been imagining impossible things to happen. Now, I don’t understand why tears would want
to come out from my eyes. I don’t know
why my heart wants to shout something it had been carrying for a long time. I
must be happy, very happy. This is my
night.
“Nothing. I want to sleep.”
I
run inside my palace, straight to my room, to my canopy bed and my soft satin
pillows because I can’t hold the moisture coming from my eyes.
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